Missed opportunities

 All because you said no i don't want to go,
it does not sound fun,  i know i enjoy it but it does not sound fun today,
well whats wrong with today, whats really behind it,
are you really that scared, of having a good time,
or scared being happy,
well whats wrong with you,
 that you can't picture,
 yourself being happy,
that you have to shut the world out,
 be stuck in your basement,
on a computer, with fake friends,
with their fake smiles,
and why do you have to be, sad
if their happy, or happy that
their sad,
or even toy with emotions,
why do you sit there and
hope for opportunities to
come to you, whats wrong
with you
that you can't
find opportunities for yourself
starting by turning of the computer and embracing the world and more importantly being happy.

Love without Lust

Impossible

Tears for Fears

I'm afraid of growing up and at the same time i'm afraid of not growing up. I'm afraid of summer because the time passes so fast.  I'm afraid to talk to girls not the fact that i might get rejected, but for the soul reason that it might work out.  I'm afraid of money, to little, to much, and what it will make of me.

Afraid of the little things. Gas prices, who said what, how we got there, sports, strangers, scary movies.

I'm afraid to be the first one dropped off for the night. Afraid of what you might say about me. Afraid if you don't think about me. I'm afraid of that moment just after we make eye contact and we both can tell we are looking at each other and we both look away and i go to look at you again and you don't look back.

I'm afraid of my favorite TV show getting canceled. so! many questions, so many! questions, so many questions!

I'm afraid of hitting the Next Blog button and seeing someone happier then me.

I'm afraid of Fridays and the number 13.

I'm afraid of you remembering me, you say hi and i stare at you blankly. I'm afraid of you stealing my words and using them against me. I'm afraid of being hurt over something stupid you said to me and never living it down.

I'm afraid of the little things,  doing my hair, wearing the right clothes, being fit, playing sports, being cool, being different. Or should i say the meaningless things.

I'm afraid you wont comment on my blog. I'm afraid of pity comments.

Cause I'm not a trendy crackar

Compose yourself
this is not a haiku
i'm certainly not thinking of you
sick of that
and of you
just want to be alone
to scared of self
Compose yourself
it's alright
your really not that
bad of a person
stop to save a dogs
life
rear-ended
head hurt
dazed
and confused
is not
a sport
not a drug
lost memories
wasted life
not reason
Compose yourself
your lost
can't follow
your losing me
bad temper
sailors toung
no reason
Please Compose yourself
rehab
healing
deep sleep
lots of TV
Compose yourself

I hope i don't loose you?

I'm thinking of you. I'm thinking of you like the sun thinks about skin and like how sick cancer makes me feel about this world. I'm thinking of you like the world thinks about the universe and I know truly how small it is. Thinking of truths, thinking about hiding and how hiding a truth really isn't so truthful.  I'm thinking of you like mirrors think about reflections and never being able to see their selves within them selves.  I'm thinking of you like doors think about knobs. Thinking of you like chairs think of airplanes and how sad it is that a stupid chair has been more places in the world then you.  I'm thinking of you like guns think about injustice. Thinking of you like the riddler thinks of helicopters thinking about batman thinking about college humor thinking about YouTube thinking about kinda funny kinda bad.  I'm thinking of you like tennis elbow thinks about tennis how the simple pain it is.  Thinking of you like how keyboards miss being around, stupid tablets so hard to type. Thinking of you like the greenies think about killing everyone on the planet but themselves because everyone else can't handle the responsibility of living on a plant and not treating it right but he would treat it right because he is the only one that cares and the planet is way more important then human life.  I'm thinking of you like a little girl thinks of her dads arms when the freaking monster in the closet decides to come out and play tea but nobody wants to play with him because he dated a redhead in high school  but then he loses his cool and just starts breaking all the fine china.  I am thinking of you like plates and bowels think of air and how they got there and where they might be going. Thinking of you like plates and bowels think of the ground and how many pieces of them there will soon be.I am thinking of you like a short stories thinks about the TV  Thinking of you like Pinocchio thinks about lying. I'm thinking of you like the letter Y thinks about ies and how quickly it is replaced. I'm thinking of you like A.D.D thinks about confusing thinks about how confused you are about me thinking of you.

Lost Memories

i stop and think back
why is it so hard to remember
every last thing we did yesterday
i try to think but i can only feel
disarray because of lost memories
of yesterday
it only gets worse when
i think of yestereve [yester-eve(two days ago)]
i can't even remember my own
name or what i ate
but oh how satisfide
i was when i did eat
or at least i think i was
when i did eat
oh wait i don't remember
sadly the fat on my tummy
is not that good of a reminder
unlike fine wine memories do not
stand the test of time
i not going to be honest
I've only had one kiss
but who it was with
is a good question
that slaps like a fist
and leaves me with emptiness
that can only be filled with a memory of a kiss and who it was shared with.

Love

     Love.  Love is weird to start, like really weird. It breaks all the rules including morals. Love is a drug and still not illegal. But for serious love makes us do stuff we would not normally do, so does beer and/or weed and/or cocain.  All of these things send chemicals to brain that make us act different, treat other people different, and make us what to do lame things (Lame things being going to chick flicks, plays, and for the most part pretending to be something your not).  The goverment has set and age to which you can buy alchol and cigerets, but they have not set and age for love why is this... nobody knows.
     Love is everywhere, it is in our homes, it is in our school, it is in our music, it is in our movies, it is in our minds, and most inportanlly it is in our hearts. It is almost like it is human nature.

Being Alive

I promise this is not late Mr. Nelson the computer is lying on which the date of this post was posted. Being alive is really weird because it can be happy and it can be sad, emotion are what mainly separate us from being robots. We have lots of emotions one i would like to talk about right now is fear. Fear can be a motive to do stuff we would normally not do like lie, cheat, steal, etc. So me lying by saying the computer is lying about the date of this post is caused by fear of getting a bad grade and fear of getting a bad grade reflects back to my parents because they might punish me by giving me up for adoption and/or torture for getting bad grades. I actually don't know why I'm stuck on the robot idea but what ever. Lying is probably the thing we do most in being alive, so if you lie a lot you will great at being alive. Sadly that is what people think but that just leads to sadness. Batman lives a lie for most of his life do you think he is happy that man is so rich but still so sad. I would call him a sad panda if i didn't have so much respect for him. Sorry for rambleing

Intro

This is an intro it might also be a blog which also could be a lie but the real truth is i like pie it is so good and so sweet but i also do not like it in my eye because that sh%# hurts like a mother Lucker and i worry about going blink in my eye and not being about to see the future i wonder if blind people can see in their dreams if amputies can feel their joints that arnt there or if birds can feel the ground when their in the air these are questions people have them start asking for the answers and there will be not reply because there is freaking pie in my eye.